Have you ever come across someone who believes in telling you facts as they are? We are sure all of us have come across that one such person in our lives who does not believe in mincing words. Such people can be relied upon to tell you things straight when you ask them for their opinion or in many cases when they feel that they have to tell you the truth. Such people though honest and admirable are often not liked due to their blunt presentation of bald facts, which may not appeal to us in many situations.
The thing is, truth is valuable and needs to be realized, seen, felt and acted upon and those who are willing to tell you the truth every time. Then why is it that such people are so unpopular and though people may love them, they do not like such people? It is because they present plain facts to us in a form that is unpalatable and bitter to swallow. They make you look at that aspect of yourself that you did not want to acknowledge though in your heart of hearts you knew to be the truth.
This Is Something That Can Be Made Easier To Understand With The Help Of A Small Story.
This is the story of a young lady, her name was Jane and like her name is cruelly rhymed with Plain, she was plain. She was short, she had limp hair, she had poor complexion and was also overweight. Need we say more? The cruel cry of “Plain Jane” followed her wherever she went. To add to her woes, her mother was one of the people who did not believe in mincing words. One could often hear her telling Jane to study well as that would be her only salvation since she was not blessed with looks in any case.
The sad fact was when you took the time to get to know Jane beyond her plain looks and shy nature, you would find that she had plenty of qualities that made her fun to be with. She was warm and sympathetic, had a good sense of humor and she also happened to be a good listener. But as it happens with most of us, she was judged on the superficial standard of looks and personality and found to be lacking. This, combined with her mother’s comments ensured that Jane had very little social life.
Since Jane was used to the bitter facts as her mother presented them to her, she soon resigned to a life that was going to be lonely. She hated it when her mother berated her for her lack of looks and her social life. However, on the other hand she knew that it was also the truth, she resigned to her fate. Things would have gone as they were if not for the intervention of a well-meaning aunt (her mother’s elder sister, Ruth) who came to visit.
It was a Friday evening, when her aunt sauntered to where Jane was sitting and watching TV to ask her why she was not out with friends. Before Jane could answer, her mother piped in saying that Jane had no social life and that nobody asked her out on dates, as she was too plain. On hearing this, her aunt was shocked and turned to her younger sister and asked here to keep quiet. On hearing this Serena, Jane’s mother became silent.
Then Ruth turned to Jane and asked her to sit down. She said “ Jane, I know you think you are plain and unattractive, but let me tell you that you have so many qualities that go beyond just looks. You are kind, you are very smart, you are very sympathetic and you are a good listener. And when I look at you closely, I can see that beyond the poor complexion and limp hair, you have lovely eyes. You have hands that are pretty and soft. You have a warm and genuine smile. I am sure the reason that you do not have many friends or that not many guys ask you out is because you come across as shy and reserved. Some may even think of your quiet nature as being too uptight. In fact, I would tell you to start loving yourself the way you are so that others can also see you the way you see yourself. “
“I know when you look at the mirror, you only see yourself the way you think of yourself, short, overweight and unappealing. However, when you start viewing yourself differently then the world will view you that way too. Once you are in a relationship with yourself, other relationships will follow and you may even reach the stage where you ask is it normal to have doubts in a relationship, but that is a stage that will come later.”
One thing you can learn from reading this story is that though facts are important, they need not be bitter and harsh.