Did you ever look back at your life and wish that life came with a rewind button? I am sure many of us do this, that is spend a lot of time going over our past and come up with many things that you regret. In most cases, we spend a lot of time thinking of various ways we would live our life if only we had the chance to do things over. Do you think this is a healthy habit?
Many people may say that the past is very important and they are not wrong. The past is very important in that the past is what shapes you to be the person you are right now. However, does this mean you let the past take over your present and possibly the future too? Actually, foolish would be the person who would do this as they are ensuring that they are creating something in the present that they would regret in the future when they look back. Don’t you think then it is just a waste of the gift that is life?
However, resolving not to look at the past or at least look at the past without regrets is something that is easier said than done. However, if you are a concerned parent who is bringing their child up the right way this is one of the life lessons you want your daughter to know for sure. If you think we have used the daughter here instead of child here due to an oversight, you would be wrong. We have used the term daughter here as women have a bigger tendency to look back on the past with regrets. However, that is a general assumption, even men have been known to look back, and that too with regrets, so here are some remedies to prevent that from happening:
Step 1: Indulge but do not linger: Thinking about the past is something that you will not prevent yourself from doing so trying to do that is not something that you will be do it. Instead, make it a systematic thing where you allot a particular amount of time to indulge in memories of the past. Allow yourself to think about it, but try to hold back the judgment. To ensure that you do not go this path and get lost, set a time for such thoughts and stick to the schedule.
Step 2: Look back but with the realization that you cannot change it: When you look at the past, the chances are that you are going to keep on chastising yourself of the things that you did not do perfectly. Since you know that there is no way for you to step back into the past and change it, there is no point in beating yourself up. The best thing to do is look back on the past with a detached state of mind only with the view of learning from past mistakes and with a resolve not to repeat them.
Step 3: Take steps to materially letting your past go: What we are about to suggest may seem a tad silly but once you do it, you will feel lighter so indulge me and do it. Write down the things that you regret most in a piece of paper. Keep writing all such things in different bits of paper. Gather all the paper at one place and go through the process of systematically tearing each bit of paper into shreds. As you do this, think of it as removing one bit of your painful past from your life. Once you are done tearing all the bits of paper, take all the bits of paper and set them on fire. In case you feel that this could pose a fire hazard, then it would be a good idea to flush these down the toilet. As ridiculous as this exercise may seem, you will feel lighter once you have gone through the whole exercise.
Step 4: The next time melancholy about the past strikes you, postpone the moment: Just because you have been sensible in your approach to the past and also undertaken the exercise to eliminate, it from your life is no guarantee that these thoughts will not visit your mind again. For such moments, we have a simple suggestion – whenever you feel the tendrils of the past start crawling back into your mind, simply postpone the thought by counting until ten. Just tell yourself that you will think about your past after you have taken a deep breath and counted to ten. This will dilute the intensity of the moment and could possibly divert you too.
We leave you with one thought – is there any point in revisiting the past when it only means that you are just letting it stop you from enjoying the present or moving on to the future?