Ask any couple who has been married for a while and they will tell you that things have cooled off and that things are not just the same. Some will have even worse things to say and this will differ from gender to gender. While the women will say things like the man has become bored with her and things along this line, men will come up with things like they feel as if they have lost their freedom and things have become too constricting. Both genders are right as well as wrong. Marriage is not easy and nobody said that the heat and passion of early courtship will last forever.
Change is the only constant in our lives and this applies to relationships too. The fact is we as humans keep changing all the time and this is something that we have to accept whether we want to or not. But this does not mean that we do not fight the changes or feel bad about them. The fact is marriage is difficult enough without the bad press that it gets from so many sources. There may be articles that will tell the ten things to do for your husband to make him feel special etc. which you both can read and adapt but also start working at making the bond stronger.
But how do you work at making things better:
First step is changing expectations: This may seem odd but just think; would you really appreciate getting something now that you really longed for when you were thirteen. Sure, it is nice to have an expectation met with but it just is not the same as your current expectations have changed, right? That is what we mean by tweaking your expectations. You will need to know that the full of longing and can’t keep your hands off each other phase cannot last forever and if it did you would be exhausted by it. Or that the thing about keeping up your best looks when together may not be such a realistic expectation when you are living together forever. So take a step back and evaluate your expectations and make changes as per changing situations.
Be what you expect from your spouse: Sometimes we do not realize the kind of expectations we have are unrealistic when we set them. To ensure that what you expect from your spouse is something that is doable, try being and doing what you expect of your spouse. For example, if you expect your husband to give up watching his favorite programs on television to spend time with you then do the same for him. If you can do it without remorse, regret and with grace then only can you expect the same from him. This is something that applies for both the wife as well as the husband for them to realize if their expectations from the other are doable or not.
Make sure to do something special for each other: The onus of doing this rests on both the parties involved. The wife has to understand that men just do not think on the same lines as a woman does and the husband also has to realize that the female way of thinking is different from the way men think. The need to take on the other’s point of view and getting out of one’s comfort zone is what could make the marriage work. When it comes right down to it, this is not something that is difficult to do but it is something that falls victim to egos and misunderstandings.
Do not think of a marriage as a burden but a responsibility: When you listen to people crib about their marriages, one would almost conclude that they have been coerced to get married which is not the case in most marriages. Most people enter into a marriage willingly but with either some skewed views or with some unrealistic expectations. In both instances you are bound to be disappointed. The thing to remember is that no relationship that is not based on blood will work when you don’t. And when you are working at your relationship, do it with joy to get the same.
Try to remember the good aspects of marriage: While many view marriage as somewhat of a burden, they often forget that there are many advantages to being in a secure and committed relationship. The first of many being that you know you have someone to bear the burdens of life along with you and also share responsibilities. It can be a nice feeling to know that you are not all alone and that you have someone of your own.
It may not be all that easy to be in a committed relationship like a marriage but once you really explore the depths of this relationship and work on it, you will realize that it was all worth it.
Here Are Some Quick Tips On Making Your Marriage More Interesting:
Laugh together: A shared sense of humor can make things much better in any relationship especially one like a marriage.
Have dates: Just because you are committed to each other, does not mean that you cannot have a special date once in a while where you do only romantic things with each other.
Have lone time: On the other hand, also enjoy your own company as well as the company of your friends so that you don’t feel stifled and forced to do only relationship kind of stuff.
Say something nice: We all like to be appreciated and the best way to get appreciation is to start appreciating others even if it is only in small ways. This way your partner will feel cherished and you will soon get the benefits of doing this.
Enjoy the little things: Many people wait to celebrate the major landmarks in their life and this is where they go wrong. It is better to start looking for and enjoy the smaller triumphs as a couple to enjoy more intimacy and togetherness.