The fact is that living with a hot tempered and furious husband can be like living beside a volcano. We are always watchful and expecting things to turn on you. You will be on tenterhooks if even a small thing goes wrong, as you know that it can ruin the day entirely.
One of the good aspects of all this, you can be prepared to do this and learn to manage a furious husband. While saying this may seem a bit one sided, the thing to remember is that you need to look at it from a guy’s point of view too.
The perspective of this article is based on a premise that the focus of your husband’s fury is at you and not on some external factor. To ensure that any of this advice works, you will need to take one painful step which is putting your ego on the side.
This advice is based on the scenario that your husband’s anger is directed at you and not at a politician or his electricity bill. I have to warn you though; in order for this advice to be affective you will have to take one painful step. This will require you to put your own ego aside. It is not quite the same as dealing with silent treatment in your relationship, but could borrow some steps from that process.
Here Is The Mindset Changes That You Need To Deal With Your Furious Husband:
Do not fear the anger by itself as it usually stems often from the guy feeling helpless and losing control of the situation.
When you see the anger going up, then immediately try to evaluate your part in this and be brutally honest in doing this. In case you are not the cause then you need to point out that it is not your fault but not at once.
In many instances, a man gets angry simply due to the fact that he has gotten into the habit of getting angry at the most mundane things. It is not your fault that this happens and you should not make him believe this, no matter what.
Stop hoping that you can take charge and control the anger that your husband has; but the fact is that only he can, not you.
You have to comprehend that contrary to popular belief, anger is about being weak not about being strong.
In many cases, men react with anger when their wives become emotional and they feel they cannot empathize so resorting to anger is the way to go.
Some Steps To Deal With A Furious Spouse:
Try not to put out the anger with your own anger, instead let him have his bout of temper on his own and let him become calm on his own. Giving attention to the anger will only make things worse.
Talk to him about his temper when things are calm. It may not be unusual for husbands to get angry when things don’t go their own way. Let things settle in their own time before addressing this with your husband.
Set some limits and stick to this. The mistake that women tend to do is not setting limits of tolerance. You need to be clear about what you find acceptable and what you do not.
Choose the battles with care; this is something that will stand you in good stead as you will do this logically instead of emotionally and even your husband knows what works and what will not.
There is no need to accept condescending treatment; again this is something that is not good for you neither is it doing any good for his character. By taking bad treatment you are only lowering your dignity, which is not what you want at all.
Apologize sincerely when you are the cause of the anger. This will definitely calm things down and diffuse the whole situation.
Be careful about your and your husband’s diet. This may seem strange but sometimes the influence of the diet you and your husband’s diet may be more than you realize.
A sudden shock can also work, but this needs caution and loses its effectiveness when used too frequently.
On the whole it is a wise thing not to combat bad temper from your husband with bad temper of your own. It is better to keep calm and wait for the storm to pass.
You could also consider having your husband taking anger management classes and learn some techniques to help deal with these bouts of anger.
Lastly, if all things that you try do not work and the relationship becomes too toxic, then it is time to take a tough decision and move away from the relationship.
The thing is being in a relationship that has become abusive is not good for you, your kids or even your husband as it only feeds their habit.
If you are really clear on the fact that your husband’s anger is not caused by you, then you need to work at making him understand that. You need to make him understand that his anger is not your fault and that he has misunderstood you.